I Am Chapter TEN


“It’s John. He’s on his way back here.”


Those were Mark’s exact words 3 days ago when I saw him. He called me over to his house because he said he had something very important to tell me. It was about you.


I’ve been thinking about these words the last few days. They’re ALL I can think about. How can it be so? Is it really true? I guess only time will tell….


John, you can’t come back to Paradise. Not now. Of course, it doesn’t do me any good to go on about this. Writing it in this journal won’t get you the message. There’s no way you can hear my pleas. I wish you could… but you can’t.


Anyway, Mark said he overheard his dad and Agent Hecht talking at his house earlier in the day (this was Sunday). Hecht may be a real jerk at times, but he tries to not overstep his boundaries. He keeps Mark’s dad informed on what’s going on with the investigation, since he is the Sheriff and all. Anyway, they were talking in the living room and Mark was in the kitchen. When he heard what they were discussing, he stayed real quiet and out of sight. He heard most of what Hecht was saying.


I wasn’t too sure of what to believe at first. I was shocked, but then I wanted to doubt the possibility of it being true. Mark told me everything he heard.


It turns out, Hecht doesn’t know for sure that you’re coming back here, but he is very confident that you are. I don’t know how. He didn’t go into details, but Mark said Hecht sounded VERY confident. So confident, in fact, that he has increased the surveillance at the house… and in town. I caught a glimpse of the agents at my house before Mark told me the news. They had all kinds of equipment and everything.


Mark also said they would do anything to get to you… dead or alive. Even though I know that’s true, I still hated hearing it. Before I left to go back home, Mark said one more thing to me… it was the same thing he told me in the car the day you left. He said:


“We have to make sure we help keep John alive by any means necessary.”


John, if you only knew how many times these words run through my mind. I‘m not really sure how we can help, but I guess we’ll come to that bridge when we get to it. I’ll do anything to keep you safe… and alive. Even if I get hurt in the end, I’ll do what it takes.


When I finally got home that day, things didn’t get any better. I walked through the door, hung my hat on the coat rack and before I could take my jacket off, Hecht is in my face giving me the 3rd degree: asking me this, asking me that, and wanting to know where I’ve been. Fortunately, Gloria was there, she covered for me. It didn’t change much. Hecht still put me on lock-down. No school. No friends. No leaving the house. AND he took my phone! I guess he thinks if you’re coming back here there’s a chance you might call me. They’re tracing anything that comes through my phone.




It’s been 3 days now, and I’m getting antsy. I hate being locked up in the house. Not to mention the fact that Hecht and about 4 other agents have taken up residence in my living room! They’ve got all kinds of equipment and radios and computers setup in there. Hecht seriously believes you’re coming back here. I don’t even have Gloria around right now to talk to or break up the monotony of doing nothing. She’s out of town checking something out.


Anyways, the only good thing that’s come out of this lock-down is that I’ve had a lot of time to think. Normally that could be a bad thing (because I tend to worry about you so much), but in this case it turns out good. I’ve been trying to piece together some things out of all that’s happened in the last few weeks. Here, let me tell you what I have so far:


1)        The Man-in-Black. I’ve crossed paths with him a few times already. The last time was at the store, in which he spoke to me. Somehow he knew that the FBI (he kept saying police) would want my help to capture you. He wants me to help them. He said he didn’t want the FBI killing you. I don’t know if he’s with another government agency or what. He doesn’t seem like he is. I still haven’t figured him out yet. It’s odd to keep thinking this but his breath was really cold (and smelled awful). In the store he got close enough to where I could feel his breath in the air, and it was cold— I mean really cold. And after I bumped into him on the street, I remembered later that I didn’t notice his breath when he was breathing. I mean, we were outside in the cold and I could see my breath, but I couldn’t see his. It’s weird, you know… why would a thing like that stick out in my mind? And then there’s the hat… the TampaBay Devil Rays baseball hat. Something about that just doesn’t feel right. I say that because it’s odd that he’s walking around the middle of Ohio with a Devil Rays hat… they’re in Florida. Everyone here are Indian fans. I don’t know John… I could be over-thinking this. Still so many questions about this one.

2)        Gray-HairedMan. I saw him talking to Hecht before Gloria drove me to Mark’s house. I didn’t see his face, and I still don’t know who he is. Gloria didn’t mention him, but I think she knows him. I don’t know if he’s good or bad, but he seemed important. This one is still a mystery.

3)        Hecht. He’s still a jerk no matter what. I know I promised to be good and kind to everyone, but this guy is an exception. There’s just something more to him that I don’t like and I can’t really put my finger on it. I just try to avoid him as much as possible. For whatever reason (probably pride and ego), he’s definitely out to get you!

4)        Gloria. There are times where I feel like she’s hiding something (or a lot of things), but I don’t know what. And despite that, I still feel like I can trust her completely… like I WANT to trust her. (Sometimes, like I NEED to trust her. It’s hard to explain.) Although I haven’t mentioned anything to her, I think she knows A LOT more about what’s going on than she’s saying. She hasn’t steered me wrong yet, and she seems to be looking out for me. Right now, I don’t have any real reason not to trust her. Like I said before, I think you’d like her. She’s real easy to get along with and she doesn’t back down from a fight or a challenge. I think Six would even like her too!


That’s pretty much it for the puzzle piecing. I did stay busy thinking of other things too… more pleasant things.


I often think about the night of the fire… when you first told me who you were— who you REALLY were: Number Four. The look on your face was so cute. You looked like you thought I was going to freak out or slap you or something. But I was just so grateful for you… for saving my life. I said it then and I’ll say again: “I don’t care what you are or where you’re from. To me you’re John, the boy I love.” That will never change.


I think about that night I came over and you just held me in your arms as we lay on the bed talking. It was beautiful and comforting to hear you talk about Lorien, your parents, and about your past. I would’ve loved to have met your parents. I think I would like them. Hopefully they would’ve liked me.


At times while you were talking, you looked like it felt good to be telling someone all that… to be able to confide in someone. I can’t imagine going through most of your life having to hide who you really are… having to live a pretend life. I hope you know that you never have to pretend with me, John. Never.


I also remember how worried you looked that night when you’d talk about the Mogadorians. I guess it wasn’t until everything happened at the school that it REALLY sank in. Even then, I was still shocked. But I knew I could trust you to keep us safe… keep me safe.


Do you remember the first time we ever kissed?

…at the Halloween Festival.


Do you remember what I said right after we kissed?

…”I knew you were special the first time I saw you.”


You are, John. You’re VERY special! Not only to me…


But also to Lorien…

To the Loric species…

To Six, to Sam, and even to BK…

To the remaining Garde members that are still out there…

And especially to the fight against the Mogadorians.


You are special, John! And I know you WILL succeed in this!


I love you, John. Always.





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