JOURNAL ENTRY: Day 16
The last few days have been stressful… and that’s putting it lightly. I haven’t written in a while because of that: stress at home, stress at school, and stress in between. Where do I start?
Well, for one, my parents are now on the FBI’s side concerning your status as a terrorist. After what happened in Tennessee with the helicopters and police, they now believe you are dangerous… especially to me! Can you believe that? They met you, they talked to you, and they’ve seen you with me! They know you make me happy! But now their opinion of you has changed.
I’m sure Hecht has some influence on them as well. My parents are starting to believe anything and everything he says. It’s frustrating to have them turn on you like that. And they aren’t the only ones. (I’ll get to that a little later.) So now when I’m not being harassed by Hecht or any of his other agents, I now get an earful from my parents. Wonderful, right? I know it’s nothing compared to what you must be going through. I do worry about you… all the time. Especially when I heard the news about the Tennessee incident, I almost fell to pieces. I know you did what you had to do, at the same time trying not to hurt anyone. I wish they would know that. But I don’t think they would believe it anyway. Everyone seems determined to capture you or… worse.
Anyways, there’s really no one here I can talk to about anything I’m thinking… except for this journal, which I keep making it sound like I’m talking to you, John. I don’t know… it just feels more natural this way. Sometimes I wish you could read it so you would know what all was going here: in town, in the house, and in my head. But then again, you have enough things to worry about!
I don’t mean to rant, but I just wanted to update you on what the home life was like right now. My parents have made it “crystal-clear” that they do not want me seeing you anymore. To hear them say that really broke my heart. I love you so much John… and I want to be with you so bad… it hurts to know that my parents openly object to those ideas and feelings. It doesn’t change how I feel though… I still love you and want you! But it’s still sad to know they feel that way. I’ll be 18 soon and they won’t be able to tell me what I can or can’t do after that. Wow, listen to me… Sarah the Rebellious One!
Wow, where do I begin? Like I ranted before, the first week was hell! Especially with creepy-agent Tatum following me around. But that’s gotten a lot easier with Gloria. (Oh wow! That’s right! I haven’t told you about Gloria. Remind me later, okay?)
Back on topic now… I still get the cold-shoulder treatment and the odd stares from everyone else, but I’ve kind of gotten use to it (…kind of). Now because of the new developments and your increased wanted level, all the kids are starting again… AND kicking it up a notch.
I can pretty much handle (actually, IGNORE) the other students when they say things about me. But, it’s difficult when they constantly talk bad about you. I promise, you would think they were in elementary school the way they carry on. One of the biggest things they do is call you names: Con Smith, Bomb Smith (this is unfortunately popular), Saigon John (I know, some are stupid), John Scythe, and John Sh… (I’m sure you can imagine this one). And these are only a small example of what they say about you. And really, they don’t say it to me directly (most of the time), but they use these “names” when they talk about you in general to each other. It’s AGGRAVATING!
And of course, they still talk bad about me. That’s usually when I REALLY try to ignore them and the things they say. I still hear some of it… and it still hurts a little, but I get over it. It’s amazing how immature they can act! School really sucks right now. No, let me correct that… school doesn’t suck it’s the kids at school that suck! …to put it plainly.
With Gloria driving me to and from school, these times aren’t so bad. (I know. I haven’t forgotten. I’ll tell you about her in a minute. Remind me again, though.) But it’s mostly the other times when I’m out that things get… uncomfortable.
Just going into town for groceries or whatever, people really talk bad about you. I’m not saying that people were on your side or believed you were innocent when all this stuff began, but now you can really tell that they are against you. That hurts me too because I hear the awful things they say… behind my back AND to my face.
The FBI has me paranoid now too. They keep asking me if I notice anyone following me. It has me looking around all the time now. I try not to let it bother me, but it does. It’s stressing to think someone could be following me… and for what, I don’t know. Maybe they think they can get to you through me… or worse, by something happening to me. You can’t let them do that, John. No matter what, you can’t come back here until all this is over. No matter how bad I want to see you and no matter how bad you want to see me, YOU CAN’T COME BACK! Not now, anyways. It’s just not safe.
The whole town seems like they’re out to get you. Of course, having that huge bounty on your head doesn’t help matters either. Sam too! OMG, don’t even get me started with that… you don’t want to know the things they say about him! That hurts more than what they say about me. You’d really be pissed at what they say. I hope Sam’s doing okay. You watch out for him, John Smith! Don’t let anything happen to Sam!
Security, surveillance, and suspicion have certainly increased in the last few days. Everyone is on edge. Except for Gloria….
Okay, you’re probably thinking “Who the heck is Gloria?” She’s the agent that replaced Tatum. To make a long story short (and sorry I didn’t fill you in on this before), Gloria came in after we complained to Hecht about— Tatum. Actually, she was “sent” in by someone higher-up than Hecht. Why her? I don’t know. But I’m glad it’s her! She is really, really nice. You’d like her. She doesn’t look like a typical FBI agent. At least not how I would expect one to look and she’s a lot easier to get along with.
Hecht has her driving me to school everyday, which is fine. We talk a lot and that helps get my mind off certain things. I don’t mind going places with her… actually, she goes places with me since she’s supposed to be following me around. But she doesn’t hover over me like Tatum always did. She gives me some space. She doesn’t act like the other agents either.
You know… I just realized that she never really talks bad about you. I’ve never heard her call you a terrorist or anything like that. She always calls you John. And she doesn’t want to see you get hurt… or worse. She always says “they” when she refers to the FBI. I mean, she is part of the FBI. She doesn’t say “we” as if she isn’t included in Hecht’s plans. I wonder if she knows something….
I’m probably just looking into it too much. She couldn’t possibly know the truth. Could she? How could she know? Nah… it must be my imagination.
Okay, John. It’s getting late, and I have tests tomorrow: Pop Quiz Thursday! Yay! …NOT!
Stay safe… wherever you are. And know….
I love you, John. Always.
JOURNAL ENTRY: Day 19
Wow, another update. You’re back in the news again!
Now they’re talking about the house explosion by Lake George in Florida that happened yesterday. They say they don’t have any real evidence, but they are linking it to you, Sam, and Six. Yeah, they know “about” Six, but they don’t know who she is. The news people keep referring to her as the “unidentified female accomplice.” The reports say there isn’t any trace of explosive materials or weapons. They can’t tell what caused the explosion or the other burn marks around the property. But, they strongly believe you were involved. It’s the same story for the school. They say it’s the same burn marks in both places so that definitely places you at both scenes. I’m guessing those burn marks came from Mog swords or guns. I know they were there, John. I saw the news about the house explosion on TV, and even I recognized the marks. They were the same as the ones at the school… I remember. I hope you got out of there quickly and safely! The FBI sent a lot of agents down there to investigate… and I mean A LOT!! They said this is their biggest lead on tracking you down. They believe they’re getting close. I hope they’re wrong! It’s getting pretty intense now, John. I worry about you.
You’re probably thinking “How do you know all this stuff?” Well, some of it is from the news but other things I get from Gloria. She tells me quite a bit… probably a little more than what I’m “allowed” to know. But I guess she does that to keep me from worrying too much. Whatever her reasons, I’m glad she tells me these things. I hate being left out in the dark about things… especially when it concerns you.
Florida, huh? I hope the weather is (or was) nicer than here. I hope you were able to enjoy some peace while you were out there… if that’s possible. I picture you taking a stroll down the road or through some woods just thinking about me… thinking about us… and the things we did together while you were here. I miss those times. I miss you!
Surprisingly, my grades are still okay… it’s amazing what ignoring students and focusing on schoolwork can do, right? Although, there was this one time I wasn’t able to ignore someone. It was yesterday at school during lunch. Some guy was just constantly saying bad things about you. He kept calling you names and said the reason you’re doing these things now is because of your parents and how you were raised. He just kept going and going and going… and I couldn’t take it anymore! I wheeled around so fast I didn’t have time to think, I just acted. I went off on the guy big-time! Honestly right now, I can’t remember everything I said to him, but it wasn’t nice— I know that much. I stood up to him with no fear and no holding back. I do remember poking him in the chest a few times. When I was done yelling at him, the entire lunchroom was completely quiet… and all eyes were pointing in my direction. I was absolutely livid! I don’t think I was ever that angry before. After the echoes of my yelling died down, I stormed off to the bathroom. People quickly moved out of my way. After I got into the bathroom, I noticed Emily followed me in. She still had a surprised look on her face. She couldn’t believe I went off like that. I’m not sure what came over me, but it felt good to finally stand up and say something… maybe it’s been building up in me all this time. And it certainly erupted like a volcano. I’m surprised he didn’t do anything back… probably because I’m a girl. I don’t know. Emily said I was so angry, it looked like I was ready to deck the guy and that my fists were balled up so tight, they were turning white. And it’s funny, I really felt like punching him! Ever since then, Emily started calling me Sarah ‘Hardcore’ Hart. She’s so crazy sometimes.
In any case, John, I know you can make it! This whole thing is bigger than you or me. I KNOW you CAN do it!
I have faith in you, John!
I have confidence that you WILL succeed!
And I know I will be back in your arms soon!
I love you, John Smith. Always.