I Am Chapter FIFTEEN


What I did last night was the single MOST difficult thing I EVER had to do. I just want you to know, John, that it wasn’t easy for me at all. Not even after the things you told me about… you and Six. That’s beside the point.


What I did, I did for your safety… and for your life. I hope you understand that. I hope you realize that. I love you, John, with everything in my heart and I would never do anything deliberately to hurt you or put you in harm’s way. But I had virtually no choice in this.


The FBI would stop at nothing to get you, even if that meant shooting you. In their words, they’d get you “dead or alive.” Without my help, they would take you dead. Hecht did not hide his intentions of shooting you on the spot if I didn’t help. At least this way, you’re still alive. I’d like to think I gave you a chance at surviving… and hopefully escaping somehow.


I haven’t been able to sleep at all this morning or today. After you were captured and taken away, Gloria drove me away from the scene. Most everything has been a huge haze of events since then. My mind has been trying to process everything… old thoughts and new ones.


I vaguely remember showing up at the police station. I wasn’t questioned like last time, but I couldn’t exactly be happy about it either. Everyone there was celebrating in your capture, giving high-fives and pats on the back. Hecht was there in his gloating victory. I was surprised he wasn’t interrogating you, wherever you were being held. I guess he wanted to bask in his wondrous triumph… as short-lived as it was! Ha!


Within hours of your capture, news of your escape spread like wildfire throughout the station and the city. I loved it! I’m sure everyone could see that too. I wanted to give high-fives and pats on the back, but there was no one there to celebrate with me. Gloria was there and although she smiled and seemed pleased with your escape, she didn’t let anyone else see it. She is an FBI agent after all.


Gloria… there’s still something about her that doesn’t fit right, and not in a bad way… just different.


After the “celebration party” turned into a flurry of tantrums and frustrations, the station emptied out as Hecht barked orders in all directions. I realized our roles were ironically reversed: I had the gloating expression while he wore the look of despair (with a lot of anger mixed in). I loved it!


When Gloria drove me home from the station, she filled me in on everything she knew. I didn’t find out all the details of your escape but from what Gloria told me, it sounded like Six was there. I bet she was pissed at you!

I wonder how she knew where you were…


And it sounded like the Mogs were there too. I think I figured out how they knew where you were. I think there were Mogs following you all the way from Florida when you first came here.


I have a pretty good feeling that the man-in-black is a Mogadorian. He doesn’t look like the Mogs we fought at the school, but I’m convinced he is one… just one that looks almost normal.


1)      His ice-cold, hideous breath. I don’t know if Mogs are cold-blooded or what but I’m sure if he was human, his breath wouldn’t be that cold. It would be hot or even warm. It’s just not human. And that breath! Stench like something that is NOT human.

2)      His hat. It probably sounds silly, but hear me out. He’s wearing a TampaBay Devil Rays hat while strolling around central Ohio— probably the largest population of Cleveland Indian fans in one spot! Not impossible, but highly improbable. Think about it: You left central Florida to come here. TampaBay is close by. He probably started following you from there, laying low and only observing. That’s probably how they knew to find you at the school.

3)      His sudden leaving when you were hauled away. As soon as you left in custody, he left right behind you. That’s how the Mogs knew where you were taken to. And they came after you. I guess Six got there before them.


It can’t be coincidence. They were probably watching in hopes that more Garde members might eventually show up.


My theory is that the Mogs wanted you taken by the FBI so they could still lay low— let someone else do the dirty work. Once the FBI had you tucked away somewhere, they’d go in and get you. That’s why they didn’t want the FBI to kill you. The Mogs wanted you alive— probably to get information and then eventually kill you.


I guess they didn’t plan on Six showing up. I’m glad she was there and helped you and Sam escape.


I still can’t figure out how she knew where you were.


Before all this happened, I wasn’t sure if I’d be able to separate logical thinking from my emotions. I mentally prepared myself that was able to do it: cooperate with the FBI to help bring you into custody. But when the time came… when it was all happening for real, I froze. It was difficult to keep my emotions from interfering with what I knew must be done… with what had to be done.

Then it happened. I admit, it was after you told me about you and Six. When the numbness wore off, I started seeing everything clearly. I knew what I was doing was the right thing.

It wasn’t out of spite or anger or even jealousy. I’m actually not that surprised you would be attracted to her. You’re both Loric, you’re both stranded on another planet, and you both possess very similar qualities. It would be natural for you two to be attracted to each other.

But what it came down to was a choice… not much of a choice, but still a choice nonetheless. It’s a choice I will have to live with, even if that means you hating me for doing it.


If anything would’ve happened to you, knowing that I could’ve done something to prevent it, I wouldn’t be able to live with that. I’d rather you be angry or even hate me than to possibly lose you forever. At least this way, you have a chance… a chance to survive… a chance to fight and eventually defeat the Mogadorians.


You’re special, John. A lot more than I think you realize. I know it. I can feel it. And it’s not because of how I feel about you. I just know that you will play a bigger role in this fight than you can possibly fathom or even understand.




It’s rare that a person can come along and change your life forever. You’ve done that for me. And not because you’re from another planet, or because you possess tremendous abilities, or even because you fell in love with me. But it’s because of what you taught me…


It’s about not giving up when the odds are against you.

It’s about defending what you believe in and preserving who you are.

It’s about loving those important to you so much that you’d do anything and everything you could to protect them.

It’s about running until it’s time to fight…

And then fighting when running is no longer an option.


I want you to know that I’m not running from you, John.

I’m right here waiting for you… fighting for you.


Do you remember what I told you in the motel room the day you left?


“I don’t know where you have to go or what you have to do, but I’ll wait for you, John. Every bit of my heart belongs to you, whether you ask for it or not.”


I love you John Smith…

I love you Number Four…







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