Author Archives: HandHeldWriter

About HandHeldWriter

Fiction writer. Vinyl collector. Coffee drinker. Book reader. Music lover. Neat freak. Bookworm. Introvert. Thinker. Poet. ISTJ.

Writing Update: The Courage of One

Back in 2013, I was excited to be in the middle of a writing project. I was invested in the I Am Number Four series (also known as The Lorien Legacies), and I wrote a [canon] fan fiction story entitled Sarah’s Journal. This was my first real writing project, and I loved it. When finishing the story, I left the ending a little open because I planned on writing a sequel, The Courage of One.

At this point, I believe I read the first three books of the series (I Am Number Four, The Power of Six, and The Rise of Nine). I loved the first two books and started falling away during the third. As I continued to accumulate notes for the fan fiction sequel, I heard the series would last 6 books. I was a little apprehensive at this news. Honestly, I was a little annoyed. I felt like the story was dragging on too long. When I later found out that there would be a 7th book, I lost interest. I thought, this is no Harry Potter series, why is this 7 books. Nonetheless, my enthusiasm for this series drained, especially after reading the 4th book later that year. It did nothing to spark my interest. That’s where I stopped reading.

I did pick up and read some of the side stories, The Lost Files. These are nice additions to the story that help past the time between the yearly releases of the main books. I do appreciate the author(s) creating so much content but that also made it difficult for me to keep the fan fiction stories as canon.

Nonetheless, it was at this point that I abandoned writing The Courage of One. Despite the ideas and direction I had for the story and the characters, I give up the idea.

Almost five years later and a few reader posts/comments, I realized that some people are reading the series (even for the first time) and finding the fan fiction story. Having left the ending open and no updates to conclude the story or abandonment of the project was pretty bad on my part. For that, I apologize. As a reader, I would not want to be left hanging like that. As a writer, that would not be good practice.

So, on that note, I will lay out my ideas and plan (from what I can remember) for The Courage of One. Fortunately, I actually found the zero draft of the first chapter. Here it is.

The Courage of One (first chapter zero draft)

“Sarah, you can’t leave!”

“Mom, I have to. I can’t stay here,” I say, throwing some clothes in a duffle bag. “I just can’t stay here any longer.”

“Sarah, darling, where will you go? Where will you stay?” She looks at me longingly, a worried look weighing down her face. “It’s not safe out there for a teenage girl, Sarah!”

“Well, it’s not very safe here either.” I stop packing and turn my attention to her. “Mom, I’m sorry, but this is just something I believe I have to do. I’m eighteen now—“

“You may be eighteen, sweetheart,” she cuts in, “but that doesn’t mean you’re old enough to go out on your own, roaming the country, looking for that boy!” Tears begin to form in my mother’s eyes.

“That boy is John Smith! And I love him! And I will do anything and everything I have to do to make sure he’s safe.” Besides, I’m not going to be out on my own, I think to myself.

“And how is running away going to help?” Her tears begin to fall.

“I don’t know, mom.” I take a deep breath and try to calm myself. “I don’t know … but staying here is not going to help … waiting around for something else to happen or someone else to come around here looking for me is not going to help.” She sits down on my bed and picks up the stuffed penguin I’ve had since I was seven when I had my tonsils taken out.

“I remember when you were in the hospital,” she begins to reminisce, “when you had your tonsils taken out.” She takes in a deep, sobbing breath, “You looked so little lying in that hospital bed. You were so dramatic back then; You acted like you just had a transplant or something. You looked so, so sad.” She lets out a small laugh. I sit beside her on the bed as she holds the penguin in her hands. “I remember seeing this thing in the gift shop, something in me knew you would love it.”

“I remember you bringing it in.”

“Yeah, and you lit up like a Christmas tree.”

I laugh. “I remember.”

“You … you were so happy when you saw it. It looked like you were going to jump out of bed and run to me. You sat up in bed and held your arms out reaching for me … for it.”

“I was excited when I saw it. You were right; I did love it. But I wasn’t reaching for the penguin, mom.” I waited until she looked at me. “I was reaching for you. You were the one that stayed with me the whole time. You were the one that knew what would cheer me up. You were the one that …..” I started to feel myself welling up inside.

“I guess…” she hesitates, “I guess it just feels like you don’t need to reach for me anymore.”

“Mom…” I put my hands over hers as they grip the stuffed animal. “Mom, I will always reach for you. I will always need you. That will never change. But…” my words hang in the air as I remember what Gloria told me once. “Sometimes we have to make certain choices because we are the only ones that can make that choice and live with the consequences, good or bad.”

“But I don’t understand why you want to run away, Sarah.”

“Because I have to, mom. I just have to.” I get up and cross the room to my window. As I look out, I see the deserted playground where everything happened a week ago. Despite the thin layer of snow on the ground, I can still see the tire tracks in the grass, deep gouges made by cars and the SWAT trucks.

“This is just one of those choices, whether good or bad, I have to make … and live with because it’s what I feel I must do. You taught me that, you know?” I look back at my mom as she looks up at me.

“Why did you have to grow up so fast, sweetie?” She gets up and carefully places the penguin back on my pillows. She pauses at the door on the way out, “I’ll be downstairs with your father. Your sister’s in her room … waiting for you.” My mom lets out a short chuckle. “She’s actually taking this pretty well. Better than I am.” My mom exits and pads downstairs.

I look back outside and reassure myself that I am doing the right thing. I knew my parents would put up a fight about me leaving, but having to say goodbye to my little sister will be the hardest. I finish packing my clothes and head out into the hallway. Before I get to the door, I stop and go back to my bed. I lift the edge of the duvet that hangs to the floor and reach way back under my bed, grabbing a shoebox.

As I walk into my sister’s bedroom, I see her sitting on her bed drawing a picture. Keep it together, Sarah, for her sake, I think.

“Hey, Squirt!” I say, trying to sound cheery and calm.

“Hey to you,” she says, about as cheery as can be. “So, you leaving today, right?”

“Yeah.” Don’t start crying, Sarah. Don’t, I think.

“Can I have your room?” She looks at me with the biggest grin on her face.

“What? You already planning on getting my room?” I’m shocked that she’s thinking about getting my room and I haven’t even left yet.

Just then, she belts out a huge laugh. “Gotcha!” she exclaims through her laughter.

“Why … you … big … squirt!” I get ready to jump at her and smother her with I-don’t-know-whats.

She curls in a ball and throws her arms over her head and yells out, “Kaboodle!”

I stop short before I get to her. Kaboodle is our safe word whenever we horseplay. It’s like our way of saying time-out. I can’t even remember how we came up with that.

She peeks up at me from under her arms to make sure I stopped. She puts down her arms and giggles.

“You nut,” I say, sitting down on her bed.

“You okay?” she asks, finishing up her drawing.

“Yeah,” I laugh. “I was going to ask you the same thing.”

“I’ll be okay. I’ll miss you. And I’ll worry about you. But I’ll be okay.” Sometimes she can act so mature for her age. I have to admit, it does make this a little easier. “Here,” she says, handing me the drawing. “This is for you. Take it with you.”

I look at the image on the paper. I can see that it’s a picture of the two of us sitting on the swings on the playground.

“This is awesome,” I say, a tear beginning to form in the corner of my eye. “I love it! I will keep it with me always.” I lean over and give her a huge hug, squeezing her tight.

“Can’t breathe,” she strains to whisper.

“Sorry,” I release a little pressure. As I hold her close, her head is under my chin, and I can smell the scent of lavender and vanilla from her shampoo. That smell will always stay with me. After a moment, I sit back and say, “Here, I need you to do me a favor. Give this to Emily when she comes by later.” I hand my sister the shoebox from under my bed, the one that contains my journal. “She knows to come pick it up.”

“Okay.” She slides the shoebox under her bed. She stands up and walks over to her dresser and gets her pink elephant savings bank. As she breaks it open on the corner of her desk, the money inside spills out onto the floor. There’s some change but a lot of bills are strewn about.

“Oh my God, what are doing?” I exclaim.

She giggles and says, “I’ve been dying to do that!”

“Dad’s not going to be happy,” I say.


Wow, you spend too much time with Emily, I think.

“I don’t know why he got me a pink elephant. Everyone knows purple is my favorite color. I want you to have this,” she says, picking up all the bills and handing them to me.

“No,” I plead, “this is your money … that you’ve been saving.” I motion for her to keep it.

“Sarah,” giving me the puppy-dog-eyes. “I want you to have it. I want you to find John, and I want to help. Here.” She hands me the money. I could try to argue with her about this but I know in the end, I won’t win. I take the money.

“I’ll get you a new bank.”

“I know you will,” she giggles back. “You’re not going to be alone out there, are you?” she asks, the giggling disappearing.

“No I’m not,” I reassure her, “I’ll be alright. Besides, I have your picture with me.” I pat my left back pocket to show her I have it with me.

As we hug once again, I get another whiff of her lavender and vanilla smell. I grab my bag on the way out her door and slowly make my way downstairs. My mom sits on the sofa and my dad stands by the front window. His refusal of my leaving is evident and apparent, but he remains quiet about it. I doubt if he wants to go round and round again like we did a couple days ago when we first talked about me leaving.

We hear a car horn honk twice outside. My dad looks out the window and sees a car in front of the house.

“Well,” my dad begins, “I suppose that’s your ride.”

“Yes, sir,” I say in a hushed tone.

Still looking outside, he says, “I guess there’s no changing your mind about this?”

“No, dad … there isn’t. I … this is what I have to do.” As I walk to the front door, my dad suddenly turns and comes at me. His arms spread wide before wrapping me up in a tight, comforting embrace like he used to when I was a little girl… safe in daddy’s arms.

“Please,” he begins, “please be careful, sweetheart.” He begins to cry softly.

“I … will,” I barely squeak out as I begin to sob. I didn’t think it would be this difficult to say goodbye but it is quickly becoming overwhelming. I reluctantly pull away leaving his shirt slightly damp with my tears.

He pulls out his handkerchief and hands it to me. It’s the same one I gave him last Father’s Day. It’s off-white and has his initials monogrammed in one corner. I take the handkerchief and wipe my eyes and nose. I fold it up neatly and hand it back to him.

He closes my hand back around it and lovingly pushes it back to me. “You hold on to it, sweetheart.” He backs away and walks over to my mom on the couch. Before anyone else says a word, I shove the handkerchief in my back pocket and head out the door.

The rays of the sun warm my face as a cool breeze of fresh air moves over me. Everything seems like a normal day: birds are chirping and flittering about, cars move up and down the street, neighbors are outside in their yards. I almost feel like a stranger to everything around me … like this is no longer my world, my neighborhood, my life. I take a deep breath and adjust the bag on my shoulder and walk down the driveway to the awaiting car. As I get in the passenger seat, I toss my bag in the back. When I close the door, all the sounds of life outside become muffled and silent, and I am left with my thoughts.

“What next?” asks Mark, sitting in the driver’s seat with both his hands on the steering wheel.

“Pleasant View Cemetery,” I say. “I guess it’s time to say goodbye to Paradise … my next life awaits.”

The Courage of One (story notes/ideas)

There isn’t too much to this section except some main ideas I had planned. I believe Sarah was suppose to meet Gloria at the cemetery and that’s where their journey would really begin.

Yes, Gloria is a Cepan. She came over on the ship. She was originally One’s Cepan but Palmer wanted her for special tasks, that’s when Hilde was assigned to One (which I named Audria). All three of them were together when the Mogs attacked them. Of course, Hilde dies trying to protect One. Before the Mogs can get to One and Gloria, One locks Gloria behind a lock gate somehow. They have a moment and One recites the underlying tone and tag line of the story: “Everything has a purpose. Everyone has a role.” One leaves Gloria to fight the Mogs. I believe one of her abilities was a ground shaking power. Gloria feels that and knows One will not survive. One sacrifices herself to save Gloria knowing that she can ultimately help the other Garde members. Of course, the Mogs leave after killing One because they never knew that there were two Cepans present. Gloria manages to escape. All this is revealed to Sarah through a memory stone that Gloria has. It acts like a Vulcan mind meld and is very unpleasant to Sarah after the Memory experience has passed. Sarah experiences this flashback through One’s eyes while feeling almost all the emotions that One felt at the time.

Sarah also experiences another of One’s flashbacks when she was around 7, I think. One of the Lost Files stories touched on a scene of hers at a birthday party or celebration of some sort. I think this is where she meets Gloria for the first time.

Later in the story, Sarah was to meet up with her aunt. Her aunt was also at the arrival of  the other ship, I think there were two ships that came. I think Gloria told Sarah this and they went to find more answers. During her visit, the Mogs track her down and eventually kills her aunt. This is where Sarah’s involvement in the story really gets personal. It was one thing to find herself in the middle of all this when she gets involved in a relationship with and “alien boy” but it’s at this point where things change for Sarah.

At some point, Palmer meets up with Sarah and lays out a lot of exposition as to what happened when the ships arrived and perhaps Gloria’s role in everything and perhaps her history.

Sarah eventually gets captured by the Mogs. She’s brought to the cave where Four, Nine, and Sam were at. In one of the books, Four rescues Sarah. Only… it’s not Sarah. It’s an imposter. How? I think S’Ra’s staff or something can shape-shift someone into another person or something. He uses this to shape shift a spy and allows her to be rescued. The real Sarah is rescued by Gloria and they continue their adventure. At this time, Sarah changes her look and cuts her hair (which now matches her silhouette picture on the fan fiction book cover). Because the imposter and the real Sarah are “linked” through the shape shifting method, Sarah is able to see through the imposter at random times through a dream-like trance. This is how Sarah is able to keep tabs on the Garde that are around the imposter Sarah after her rescue. Of course, the Garde and Four have no idea and the imposter seems to fit right in. I think this also how the Mogs track the remaining Garde.

By the end of the story, Sarah and Gloria were still making their way through their adventure. I do know that at the end of this story, Sarah sends a purple elephant bank to her sister to replace the one from the beginning of the story. This also lets her sister know that she is okay.

I think that’s about as far as I got in the ideas and notes and planning. I really wanted these fan fiction stories to fit in with the originals and be like actual canon. I think it would’ve worked with the original main books (and if I had kept an interest in the story), but the addition of so much side stories in the Lost Files and Journals made it difficult, especially when they published an actual Sarah’s Journal.

I thank all those that had an interest in my stories and took the time to read it and inquire about it. Again, I apologize for having a hanging ending and then not continuing the story or updating the abandonment of the project. I hope you enjoyed the story and the original works.


WD Writing Prompt: The Duality of Humankind

The Prompt: “There are two kinds of people in this world,” my companion slurred, pausing to take another artless swig. “Those who ______ and those who _______.”

Continue the story in 500 words or fewer.


“There are two kinds of people in this world,” my companion slurred, pausing to take another artless swig. “Those who know and those who don’t know.” He held up his glass.

“What,” I began, “in the world are you talking about?”

“Those who know,” he repeated, holding up a hand, palm up, “and those who don’t know,” he held up the other hand. “Two kinds of people,” then he held up four fingers.

“I see. Like I know you’re drunk and you don’t know your drunk, right?”

As my companion laughed at this, his drink sloshed around in his hand spilling a little on the bar. “I believe you are highly mistaken,” slurring his words once again.

“And I believe you’ve had too much to drink.” I took the glass from his hand. “No more Mojito for you.”

“Actually,” the bartender cut in, “it’s a Nojito. You know … non-alcoholic.” He raised an eyebrow at me.

“Impossible,” I said as I stood up.

My vision blurred.

I felt light-headed.

I felt weak.

Then, I blacked out.

When I awoke, I was lying down on a sofa. I had a cool, damp rag on my forehead and a throbbing headache. “What happened?” I asked, not knowing if anyone else was in the room with me.

“You passed out in the bar,” someone said, “I brought you to your room, and now you’re dealing with a hangover.” It was my traveling companion. He set a cup of black coffee and some aspirin on the table beside me. “Your agent said to keep an eye on you,” he chuckled. “She knew you would celebrate and drink too much, more than you would realize. She knows you better than you know yourself.”

True, I thought. “Celebrating what?” I couldn’t remember.

“Your book, The Duality of Humankind, hit the bestsellers list, remember? Wow, you did have too much to drink, didn’t you.”

“So, I was the one drinking and you weren’t, right?” My head was still a bit fuzzy.

“Exactly,” he said. “Everyone knew you had too much to drink. But you didn’t know.” We both laughed. “You were right after all.”

“About what?” I sat up.

“Those who know and those who don’t know. Two kinds of people in the world.” He held up two fingers this time.

I Am Batman

I am Batman, you would not know
Caped Crusader all dressed in black,
face under mask, voice inexact,
defender in the moonlight glow,
dishing out justice where I go.
I am Batman.

Patrol the city, high and low.
Gadgets are packed, villainy tracked,
waiting in the shadows… attack!
Can the Dark Knight ever rest? No.
I am Batman.


Copyright © 2017 by Andrew Hildreth

Wednesday Poetry Prompt: Rondine Poetic Form
•12-line poem
•2 stanzas
•7 lines in the first stanza; 5 lines in the second
•8 syllables per line, except in the 7th and 12th lines
•7th and 12th lines are a refrain
•The refrain comes from the opening word or phrase of the poem


As You Wish…


Copyright © 2014 by Simon & Schuster Audio

While perusing the available audiobooks from my library’s website, I came across As You Wish: Inconceivable Tales from the Making of The Princess Bride by Cary Elwes. The Princess Bride by William Goldman is my favorite book, and the film directed by Rob Reiner is among my all-time favorites, so my interest in this book was definitely high. The library had the ebook available but they didn’t carry the audiobook. My job provides me the ability to consume large amounts of audiobooks on a daily basis, so an audiobook would be my preference in this instance. Especially seeing that the audiobook would be narrated by Cary Elwes himself.


The website listed the audiobook as “not available” but contained a button to click on to recommend it to the library. I clicked on it and moved on, not giving it too much thought after that.

About a week later, to my surprise, I receive an email from the library that states that they have recently purchased the audiobook and that it is available for me to check out. I was shocked! They actually purchased this on my recommendation (and I’m sure the recommendations of others). I was excited! I quickly checked it out and downloaded the files to the audiobook app on my phone.

I was in the middle of another audiobook at the time and didn’t start it until the next day. When I did get to it, I had a couple hours left of work and with a 30-minute drive home, I calculated I could finish this book by the time I get home the next day.

As soon as Cary Elwes said the first few lines, I knew I would like—no, love!—this book. And I did! This book is an absolute treat to any Princess Bride fan. The stories and anecdotes and behind-the-scenes insights were a delicious delight. I especially loved all the parts that talked about Andre the Giant, these were my favorite pieces. Cary Elwes did an excellent job at narrating! His voice is very easy to listen to, and his emotions were easy to feel throughout his narration. I could easily listen to him read other audiobooks. Other cast members and directors also lent their voices to this audiobook which made it that much more entertaining.

Out of curiosity, I wondered if there were any other people waiting on this audiobook. I checked my library’s website and found 2 people on the waiting list. I thought that was incredible seeing that the audiobook just became available so recently. I finished about 30% of the book by the end of that first day and immediately knew I needed to own this. I went to on my phone and used one of my credits to purchase the audiobook. I went back to my listening app and immediately returned the audiobook back to the library; I didn’t want to deprive the next person in line of receiving this book as soon as possible. I went to and bought a paperback version of the book as well. I just had to have a physical copy! (Actually, they had a like-new hardcover version that I preferred and had in  my cart, but I waited to purchase it to add more books and get the free shipping. I later checked my cart and it was gone; someone bought it. They had a very-good hardcover version I added to my cart. Again, I waited. Again, I checked. Again, it was gone! The last hardcover they had was an ex-library copy which is fine with me. I had a lot of ex-library copies of book that I adore. Again… add to cart… checked later… and gone. I just didn’t learn after the first time. I went straight for the like-new paperback copy and purchased it immediately. I will still happy with it though.)

After finishing the audiobook that next day, I watched the film that evening after work and enjoyed it even more, viewing it with new eyes and a knowledge of what went into making this classic tale.

Thank you, William Goldman, for telling this timeless tale.
Thank you, Rob Reiner, for bringing this story to the screen.
Thank you, Cary Elwes, for sharing your experiences and stories about one of the greatest films I have ever seen.



I wipe the sleep from my eyes
Toss the comforting embrace aside
Tell the night goodbye

Hello morning

I brush off the dust of the day
Time to rest my cares away
Embrace sleep without delay

Hello night

Absent, But Not Forgotten

It’s pretty bad when I recently realized that 2016 has come and gone, and I haven’t posted anything on here for the entire year. The last post was September 2015, ironically for a new writing project in which I haven’t posted anything on there either. That’s sad. And I say this because I love to write, and I was excited to really dive in to this project and just writing and posting on here in general. Evidentally, life and laziness and procrastination had other plans. I’m hoping to change this in 2017.

I’m not big into New Year’s resolutions but I do have two for this year: read more and write more. Last year, I had a reading goal of 30 books which is not a far reach. I started off strong but fell off by the summer and didn’t get back to it. I only managed about 18 books total, and 3 of those books were crammed in at the end of the year. And as I stated earlier, writing was pretty non-existent for last year. 

Well, I’m happy to say that I’m already working on these two resolutions and hopefully this will continue throughout the year. This post, for one, is a great start to my writing. I mean, it is the first post in about 16 months. I will certainly consider it a start. A huge start! And the reading side of things has gotten to a good start. I knocked out a Neil Gaiman book to start the year (a great way to begin the year in my opinion), and I am continuing the great Harry Potter series (book 5). 

All in all, I’m liking the way 2017 is starting off and using 2016 as a springboard to help propel me—and my writing!—to a better and consistent place. Here’s to more reading and more writing for 2017…. CHEERS!

New Writing Project


MinecraftAvatar - Irwin C Etheridge

My name is Irwin Copernicus Etheridge. I am a Minecraft explorer for the Galactic Alliance of Minecraft Expeditions (GAME). We seek out new worlds for the purpose of discovery and exploration while adhering to the PMoC Act (Primitive Means of Crafting) in order to best preserve the natural sanctity and existence of the local planetary ecosystems.

Minecraft: Copernicus is a chronicling of my (mis)adventures on and off the various worlds of which I am in charge over.

Copyright © 2015 Andrew M. Hildreth

My Special Dark Chocolate

The fact that she’s black takes me back,
Like I’m stuck in rewind.
Luscious lips, grippable hips,
Damn! I love that plump behind.

Skin so soft so smooth so sweet,
I’d kiss every inch of that dark-skinned goddess,
From her head right down to her feet.

Now don’t get me wrong,
Light is quite alright.
But there’s something about that
Deep dark complexion that gets me craving…
That chocolate appetite!

I always did say:
I like my women how I like my steak…
Dark on the outside
Pink on the inside
And dripping juices all on my plate.

lonely night



raindrops tapping on my window

lightning flashing in the night’s sky

thunder resonating in the distance

a bottle of wine chilling at my side


this night would be complete

if only she were here with me


who is she

where could she be

no strings attached


I’ll be your connecting flight,

            Your subway through the night.


I’ll be your train ride between stations,

            A taxi to another destination.


I’ll be your ship sailing you across the sea,

            The life raft when your drowning in break-up misery.


I’ll be your temporary fling,

            When you need a temporary thing.


I’ll be your late night sleeping pill,

   Or when you have time to kill,

      Or if you just need a thrill,

         …do with me what you will.


No pressure. No ties. No hidden lies.

And if you need me to,

I can slip out in the middle of the night.


Emotions detached?

Interests mismatched?

It’s affable. This can be casual.


No strings attached.